Grief At Its Worst

The incredible emptiness of losing a child is beyond any comparible measurement known to man.  Only a grieving parent truly knows this type of void.

Recently, there was a photo which quickly spread through the internet of metal human statue presenting a hole carved out of the chest. The hole was so large it lacked any type of proportions other than shoulders and arms a head and waist.  The head hung very low, and you could tell the energy from the living parent represented by this sculpture was, well .. lifeless.   This is grief at its worst.

When I viewed the sculpture I had no idea what it represented and didn’t read the title immediately, but I pointed to it and told my husband; “This is me.”  A lifeless parent with a hole no one can fill.

My heart left with my child like a balloon attached to her wrist as she floated into heaven with her angels and with who she has said, “Christ.”

At first, I was so angry with God for taking my child! I cursed him as I fell to the ground in agony many times.  “How could you take my only daughter?!” “Why do you let murderers live and my beautiful baby leave?”  I compared how some live after drowning, some fail suicide attempts, and some even survive hanging themselves.  But not my Rylie. He took her away.

I punished myself because I thought the Universe, God, whatever existed was ultimately punishing me for anything I have ever done.  Why else would I be forced to live this hell?

I went a while before hearing an answer to this.  It was not God who answered me.  It was Rylie.  I will share more about this, but first I would like to explain something to grieving parents and just those who grieve for a loved one of any relationship.

We haven’t lost anyone! They still exist in pure love and energy form. This is the same form in which we feel hope and love from Divine Source.  I like to call this energy source God, but you are free to call this source anything you wish.

I have seen and heard from Rylie many times.  I know where she is, who she is with, and what she is doing.  All any mom could ask for when checking up on our independent children. Right? Rylie was so incredibly independent.  She still is.

I know my child is incredibly safe right now. She is loved beyond measure.  So is your child, parent, friend, partner, and so on.

Am I a preacher, no. Am I religious, no. I grew up in church, but we all have our preferences.  I am spiritual. I have several gifts and I can see the other side plainly. However, I still grieve.  I still long for my daughter’s physical presence and I ask her daily to come back as I cry myself to sleep.  She is and always will be my Sunshine. My Star. My life.

Now, to be able to live again under these circumstances. . It’s possible.